A ROAD TO CONQUERING FEAR & ANXIETY

Rhiannon Robertson is a travel blogger who has recently started her journey into the world of motorcycles and adventure. She discovered the positive effect that riding motorcycles has on her mental health while conquering her fear & anxiety.

This is Rhiannon’s Bike Journey:

A Road To Conquering Fear & Anxiety

What first sparked my interest in bikes? I honestly couldn’t pinpoint one definitive moment, but I clearly remember sitting at a red light in my dad’s van when I was a kid, when a bike pulled up, and I remember staring at it wistfully.
“Bikes are so cool, I wish I could drive one.” I sighed
My Dad stared at me matter of factly and said plain and simple “Well, why can’t you?”
I laughed it off with “I’m too short, I wouldn’t even be able to touch the floor!”

“You can get bikes in all shapes and size Rhi, even for short stuff like you!” he laughed, and then we were away. 

Little did I know back then, that through a series of contributing events, I would later develop a deeply felt fear and anxiety when it came to driving. I gave up my driving lessons in a flurry of tears, and it was a sore subject of embarrassment for me. The thing is though, it genuinely made me feel sick, it made me want to cry, and it made this uncontrollable overwhelming feeling of panic rise up in my chest. I accepted that it was probably something that I wouldn’t be able to do, and put it to the back of my mind.

Fast forward to my mid-twenties:
Long story short, I’ve dumped my arsehole boyfriend, I’ve quit my job, and I’ve bought a one-way ticket out of this dump.

Hello Fear

I went backpacking across Southeast Asia for a year, and this was a pivotal time for me. I was alone, and well and truly had to put my big girl pants on if I wanted to experience my journey to the fullest and reach my personal potential.

Bikes are a way of life in Asia, and although in some of the big cities you can get motorbike taxis where you simply hop on the back, in more rural areas, they don’t exist. I was faced with a daunting realisation, that if I wanted to explore off-the-beaten-path places like I so desperately wanted, I was going to need to ride a bike. There was no other way.

But the thought of driving anything made me want to vomit and cry. It may seem absolutely ridiculous to some people, but it was a very real fear for me that affected my life.

“Motorbikes are a way of life in Asia, and you can even get motorbike taxis.“

Hello Anxiety

So eventually, I was staying with an old friend in Thailand, and she offered to teach me how to ride a scooter. After just a few minutes I was flying up and down the road, wondering what the hell I’d ever been scared of. But the funny thing is about anxiety, it always seems to change shape.

As soon as I had seemingly conquered my fear of driving, it was then that it seemed to manifest itself as driving somewhere I didn’t know or being lost. I was at constant war with myself, but the freedom it gave me, and the options it opened up far outweighed the anxiety that I felt and kept me pressing forward.

A few months later, I ended up driving across Vietnam with a friend, some 1757 kilometres (1092 miles) along coastal routes, mountain roads and deserted highways. Stopping in multiple towns and cities en route for a few days to explore.

green farmland, stopping at clear cold waterfalls to wash our faces or go for a quick swim, and driving through endless nature made me feel at peace.

Stopping at waterfalls along the way

We drove along the Hai Van pass that was featured in a series of Top Gear, and even drove our bikes around an old abandoned water theme park!

Driving the Hai Van pass as featured in Top Gear

Exploring an abandoned water theme park in Vietnam

An adventure in Vietnam

Hello Confidence

I became a bit of an old hand at driving scooters in Asia, and got used to the absolutely crazy Vietnamese traffic that once scared me to death. I remember thinking, if I can do it here, then I can do it at home, or anywhere. I desperately wanted to learn to drive a manual bike and eventually move up to a bigger engine.

Crazy Vietnamese traffic, where you can get exhaust burns on your leg from someone else’s bike!

So when I came home, I booked myself in for a CBT (Compulsory Bike Training) course which would allow me to drive a 125cc bike with L plates until I got my test done. I hated the CBT and felt overwhelmed as the instructor spouted jargon at me that I didn’t understand, I felt like a complete idiot and had to bite back tears of frustration.

I ended up doing my CBT on an automatic bike but a weird (and slightly worrying if i’m honest) loophole meant that I could still legally go and buy a manual bike. I discussed it with my dad, who had motorbikes when he was younger, and he told me to go for it, and he’d teach me himself. So that’s exactly what I did, I ordered my first manual bike – a Yamaha YS 125cc (not my dream bike but hey, don’t underestimate the appeal of 0% finance) and got it delivered to the house. My dad and my brother stood outside on the road with me and showed me what to do, and when put into simpler terms it made so much more sense that what the instructor had been saying.